• Jessie Southard

THE POWER OF SAYING NO

The best thing I could ever tell anyone in ANY position, phase of life, uncomfortable situation is that the best thing that they can do is learn that the power of saying NO is SO STRONG! No, you don't deserve to be treated like s**t. No, you do not need to go out with your friends and spend money you don't have when you have a midterm to study for. No, you don't need to pay attention to mindless drama on social media that does not involve any form of the truth. No, you don't need to lower your standard in order to fit in. No, you don't need a second helping of dinner. You are just fine with one serving.


You get the point. Learn to say NO. Remember though you have to have follow-through. Mean what you say. People will take you a lot more seriously if you stick to your guns. You also have to do your best to not turn into a pile of mush the second someone says "Oh, come on! Quit being lame!" No Nancy, you're lame. Want to know why? Because you say yes to crap you know you shouldn't.


You know that little voice in your head? That is your conscience, your intuition, your moral compass....whatever you want to call it! Listen to her. She is a classy lady with high standards and she knows right from wrong. She also knows WHO YOU ARE!


I can't tell you how many times I said no and was so incredibly thankful I did. Now, you are probably thinking I have maybe limited my life's experiences but in fact I have done quite the opposite. I don't want to brag, but I am doing one hell of a job living my life staying as true to myself as I possibly can. I did this by saying no and not feeling apologetic about it. Live your truth. I know who I am and what I am not. It is 100% okay to not be the cool kid! I'm not! I am a creative nerd that doesn't drink, rides horses, and loves makeup & hair. That is SO BORING to a lot of people!! I don't like bars. I don't drink. I have never done drugs. I did not skip school. I never snuck out. I never went to a house party in high school or college. I did not go to Prom (I went to a concert instead). I went to a community college my first two years to do my prerequisites and stayed at home. I did not go to a fancy 4 year college with all of my graduating class right off the bat. I worked....a lot! I did not have my first real boyfriend until I was 18. I am SO LAME to a lot of people. I truly don't care. I don't live my life for them. I live it for me. I stayed true to who I was at my core by saying NO to anything that did not fit my goals, my personality, or my standard. All of my choices where I said no has lead me to the most beautiful place! My life is AMAZING! I am the happiest I have ever been and it just continues to get better. I truly believe that is because I know how to say no.


To this day I still say NO! No, I don't want a drink. I know I am 29 and sober. Sue me. No, I do not want to read that bulls**t about me or any of my friends online. Waist of freaking time. No, I won't sit on the couch for 3 hours watching TV when I need to get my chores done or work my horses. No, I won't allow you to write rude crap and send it to me in my DM's expecting a reaction out of me. I love to block people. Good job Nancy...you get added to my block party. I could go on and on! Learn to say NO and don't feel bad about it! If those around you are getting that upset with your standard, maybe you should rethink who you surround yourself with.


Here is what you do NOT want to say no to. You never want to say no to growth. Never say no to learning new things. Never say no to education. Never say no to raising your standard. Never say no to perfecting your craft. Never say no to self-love. Never say no to making yourself feel nice. Never say no to opportunity. Never say no the possibility of a new love after heart-break.


Don't worry...the more you say no to the things that are NOT YOU the more the things that ARE YOU will present themselves. If you have trouble deciding what to say when presented with a question or opportunity ask yourself these 3 questions:

1. Will saying yes help me reach my goals?

2. Will saying yes provide me with a new opportunity to grow, learn, or create a precious memory?

3. Will saying yes keep me safe and out of harm without regret of my decision?


Now, I know there are different circumstances, etc. I get it....just be open minded to my concept here.


The power of saying NO...it'll make you feel unstoppable. It's not easy but it is incredibly worth it.


Until next time party people,

Jessie

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